WHEN IT'S TIME FOR CHANGE

Ever found yourself thinking, Why does this keep happening to me?" Maybe it's Fate's way of telling you it's time to make some life changes.

I'll admit that I kind of like it when I get to sound all knowledgeable and wise. Let me reassure you though that I am just a person, like you and these lessons that I pass along are hard learned (and some still learning). Hopefully, they don't have to be so much so for you. At least, maybe you'll pick up on the cues sooner than some and recognize them for what they are so you don't have to learn your lesson in the truly painful ways.

"Fate guides us with a gentle hand. When we don't listen, she starts beating us with sticks."                                                                                                             ~Me

Sooo, A lesson from Fate, eh?

Well, I say Fate, you say, God, let's just meet in the middle and call it "The Powers that Be", shall we? This saying just sort of came out of my mouth during a tarot reading many years ago.  The idea is that we are given life to learn lessons and grow spiritually. I could go into karma here, but I'll refrain. These lessons are not always clear to us, so when we do not learn this life lesson, it sets off a loop and we begin reliving the experience over and over until we do learn the lesson and make the life change we were meant to make. Let's use an example of a person who needs to learn to be assertive:

Nancy is a bit shy and very pretty. She met a handsome man and he was great to her for a few months until he started telling her not to wear makeup because he didn't want other guys to see how beautiful she was and try to steal her away.  He became very controlling and Nancy left him, but he tried to get her back. She asked another guy for help to keep him away and started dating that guy. Guy #2 was also great for about a month but then he didn't want her to go out with her friends because he thought she would cheat on him, so he had to know every place she went and who she was with. Finally, Nancy left him and when he was stalking her and threatening her she asked the help of a coworker to get him to go away to stay with her so she would feel safe. This guy #3 told Nancy what to do every minute of the day, what she should wear and why she had the problems with her other boyfriends. It was because she dressed like a whore and flirted with all the guys.  He was going to help her with her problem by following her everywhere and telling her everything she was doing wrong. If she didn't listen to him, he hit her. If she went to a friend's house, he called with an emergency that would justify him coming to get her. He threatened her life if she left him and soon she realized she had no friends she could turn to and no more guys she could ask for help. She wanted to leave, but she had to do it on her own, there was no other choice. She had to stand up to him herself. She found help through an agency that taught her how to handle the situation and she got away from him.  When he found her a few months later, she called the police and pressed charges against him. When she finally learned the lesson that she had to stand up for herself and become more self-assertive, the cycle broke.

That was a fictional story, but a scenario that happens more often than I would like to admit. maybe not word for word, but there are a lot of people and not all women that have to go through that.  Life lessons are not always easy to spot at first and many times it takes repeating the lesson once or twice to see the pattern and pick it out for what it is. So, what do you do when you see it?

Soul Searching

Probably the most important step in the process is soul searching. Look into the situation and figure out what got you into the situation, how it developed and what you think the lesson is that you're supposed to learn.Be honest with yourself.  These lessons are not easy and sometimes they are not things that we want to see in ourselves or that we feel will be easy to change. If it was going to be easy, it wouldn't be so important.Once, you think you've figured out what the lesson is, then ask the universe if you're right. You can straight out ask if you're right and ask for a bit of guidance if you're on the right track, but you need to make sure you keep a very open mind, heart, and eyes for the response. The reason for this is that you are not likely going to get someone tapping you on the shoulder and telling you "hey I have a message for you from God". Subtle signs will come to you, but they will be undeniable once you start looking.Meditation is also a great way to start receiving a little guidance from the universe because when you are in your meditation, your mind is open and those odd thoughts that come unbidden are usually the ones you should pay attention to. They are there for a reason and especially when your conscious mind says, "well isn't that odd?" While you're in your meditation, just acknowledge it and go on with your meditation, but make sure to revisit it. If it's totally cryptic, treat it like a dream sequence and look it up in a dream analysis guide. It sounds odd, but sometimes it can give you a direction. If it was an animal, research the totem animal meanings.  You get what I'm saying, All these things can help you find the reason for the cycle.

How to break the cycle:

Understanding is key. If you don't understand the lesson you're meant to learn, then how can you learn it?  It's true that life lessons can be painful so you want to learn them quickly and learn them right the first time. Keep an open connection to your powers that be. If you have a good connection with him/her/them, it will be easier to figure it all out. Of course, I stand by meditation as the best way and simply just talking to him/her/them. That's my way, but you need to find your own comfort level. Maybe it means developing a relationship with your local minister and going to them for advice. Perhaps it means going into nature and just quieting your mind. Each and every one of us will be different.Once you identify the lesson to be learned, then please take the steps needed to learn it. It's not going to be easy, as life lessons are not meant to be. If they were easy, it wouldn't be such a big deal, right?

Sometimes taking the first steps toward that change though is enough to break the cycle. However you go about it, do it with mindfulness and love for yourself. This is an opportunity for growth, not a punishment, even though sometimes it might seem that way. When you conquer your lesson, you will feel like a new person. You will have a sense of accomplishment that cannot be matched by anything else. Sometimes it literally marks a new chapter in your life, so if you felt stuck in a rut, expect life to begin to flow again at an amazing rate (much like a dam breaking). Keep the connection to your powers that be open.

So what you can to remain in balance (as always, I recommend a healthy diet, yoga, and meditation)? Sometimes once life starts to flow again, you can feel swept along, especially if you were stuck for a long time in that loop. It's just the rest of your life trying to catch you up, so hang on!

Avoid the stupid stick

So Fate understands it's hard for us to get the cryptic messages and tries to make them clearer for us as time goes on. So when the first signs that you need to overhaul your spending habits might come as some bounced checks, if you don't get the hint, or ignore the more clear signs like possible collections or maybe having your car repossessed, you might end up being beat with the stupid stick in say, bankruptcy court. or in foreclosure. I'm not saying that all people who end up having this happen to them are in that situation. Sometimes life just throws us curve balls and we do the best with what we have and sometimes it's just not enough. it could even be that a person having their home foreclosed on was ignoring the signs that they had to move to another location or get out of that home for some reason. It all depends and each scenario is different. Only you can really figure out your life lesson (I'm just using fictional examples).I can give you a real-life example. My own run-in with Fate's stupid stick (I will put a link here once the post is ready), It was not one of my proud moments, but it is proof that I'm human just like you.  So learn from my mistakes and hopefully, you don't have to go through the painful life lessons and the stupid stick beatings. At least not more than once, because if you read this and laughed it off, then had to live through one of Fate's beatdowns, you'll rethink it and start looking for the signs.

I'm always available to answer questions or to help as I can. I wish you all smooth sailing on life's journey,

Love and light my friends!